Not
so long ago there lived a mother and father, who said day after day: “Ah, if
only we had another child!” for the couple had already four other children.
Then one day, the mother gave birth to a baby girl who was so beautiful that
the father could not get over his joy and held a great feast for his
neighbours.
The
father invited not only his relatives, friends, and acquaintances, but also the
local Wise Women, for he wanted them to feel friendly toward his child. There
were thirteen Wise Women in the kingdom, but the father had only twelve chairs
for them to sit upon, so one of them had to stay home.
At
the feast, each Wise Woman gave the child a magic gift: one gave humour, the
second sass, the third sarcasm, and so on, until they had given everything an
independent woman would want in this world. When the eleventh had spoken, the
thirteenth suddenly stepped in. Being so mad that she had not been invited, the
thirteenth cried out: “When she is eighteen, the girl will get her acceptance
letter into university—and fail!” Then, without another word, the woman left.
However,
the twelfth Wise Woman had not yet given her gift. She touched the baby and
said: “I cannot undo this awful curse, but perhaps I can ease the severity. The
child will go to university, indeed she will do well, but she will not sleep
for four years.”
The
father, wanting to save his daughter from such a horrendous fate, burned every
mailbox in the county, much to the annoyance of his neighbours. Once the child
was eighteen, she, like all of her friends, sent away her application to
university. One day, the mailman appeared at her doorstep, carrying a letter of
acceptance to a university; for, of course mail will find its way to you even
without a mailbox.
That
very day the girl moved out of her parents’ house and into residence, where she
did not sleep for the next four years. The girl spent her days and nights
locked in her bedroom, pouring over books and writing extensive and detailed
notes. In the final year, when the girl believed she had finally figured out
how to avoid comma splices, there was a knock at her door.
“What!”
she yelled, , pushing her hair out of her eyes; for the girl was so thoroughly
exhausted from her term papers she had forgotten to shower, and her hair was
now sticking to her scalp.
“My
name is Mr. Prince, Resident Advisor, and I have heard you have not slept for
four years. I am here to bring you good news. Your graduation is next week!”
And
so, the girl showered, crossed the stage, received her degree, and finally
broke the wretched curse. After four long years, the girl reunited with her
parents. They took her home, where she slept for a solid two weeks. The girl
and her hard-earned degree lived happily to the end of her life.
